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WEDNESDAY THOUGHT 4/23/08

How I lost 50 pounds of anger under the 8-day plan and taught my father to say I love you:  Though my father was a brilliant and caring doctor, he tended to be a melancholy, unpleasant person.  I didn’t like him much.  But when I was in my mid-30s, I decided that I didn’t want to have any remorse at his funeral (which didn’t happen until 25 years later, by the way), so I put him on the 8-day plan.  This simply meant that I’d call him every eight days.  (I think that’s the same one my kids have me on today. Hmmm.)
 
It worked out well, and I went from tolerating him to getting along with him to actually appreciating his many good points.  At the end of one call, almost on a whim, I concluded with, “Love ya, Pop.”  He grumbled and said, “Take care.  Thanks for calling.”  I started doing this every week.  Eventually, he mumbled, “I love you, too.”  On the day of his death, knowing he was about to die (though he didn’t tell me), he called me.  His last words were, “Remember that I love you.”  I got word an hour later that he had died.  Looking back on it, not only did I teach my father how to say I love you, but I also learned to love him in return — a very nice bonus. 
 
The point of this wordy rambling:  Even when our motives are a bit suspect, by doing the right thing, we can make a difference.  And in so doing, we not only can change the world, but we can transform ourselves as well.  So, if I were giving advice, I’d say: Call someone you love today and let him or her know.  God bless and enjoy.  — jri
 
“I don’t find it necessary to forgive my parents
for the mistakes they made.  It is no sin to be
human.  They were amateurs in a demanding
game where even experts can’t always get it
right.”
        –    Harold S. Kushner
               (How Good Do We Have to Be)