DailyConnections.net

THURSDAY 9/11/08

On a Path With God
 
I was walking on a trail the other day and expressing my frustration to God about the tough road I was on (not the trail; my life).  I am not saying God talked to me directly, but here is how my imagined conversation went:
 
Me:  God, I’m not all that big on this submission stuff.
 
God:  Fine.
 
Me:  I mean, if I give up all that drives and thrills me, there’s nothing left, right?  I gotta be me, right?
 
God:  No argument.  Agreed.  Sammy Davis, Jr. couldn’t have put it better.  I want you to be you.
 
Me:  So, you agree with me?! 
 
God: Absolutely.  So, what do you want to do?
 
Me:  A bit  more of my stuff my way.
 
God:  A bit more of your own stuff?  How eloquent.  And you I blessed with the gift of words.  A writer.
 
Me:  (CHUCKLING)  Yeah, well…. 
 
God:  So, go for it.  Do what you want.  (PAUSE)  And what do you want?
 
Me:  (PAUSE.  MY MOUTH KEPT OPENING TO SPEAK AND THEN CLOSING, LIKE A GULPING FISH)  Well….  Well….
 
God: You want to get wildly rich?
 
Me:  (FEELING OUTMANEUVERED AND PANICKY AT THE THOUGHT)  Nah, been there, loved it ….
 
God:  And?
 
Me:  (SULKING)  Came up empty in the end.  (PAUSE)  It was fun, but something was missing. (SMILING TO MYSELF, SEEING A FEW FEET AHEAD ON THIS CONVERSATION)  Hey, are you laughing at me?
 
God:  Me?  Would Your God laugh at you?  (CHUCKLING)  Well, a little.  What else?  Wild sexual pleasures?  Booze?  Power? 
 
Me:  No.  No.  No.  Well, maybe a little.  (LAUGHING)  I’ve done all that and more.  Great fun.  But you know that none of it made any real sense until you came back into my life.  I guess what I want is just a sense of being more in control?  You know, doing what I want.  Not being your pawn.
 
God:  You are in control.  You are not my pawn.  I wouldn’t have you that way.  Do what you want.  Go for it.  I will grant you your heart’s desire.  Haven’t I always?  Anything you want earnestly enough I will grant you. 
 
Me:  (JOKING)  Well, there’s the Mercedes, the yacht, oh, and don’t forger the million dollars, no make it two million.  (LONG SILENCE. NOT JOKING)  Thanks, God.  What I really want, when I’m done whining and clowning around (PAUSE) is what YOU want.  The opportunity to take care of my family, be there for loved ones … and, yes, strangers, too.
 
God:  What about your concerns about submission?  Still gotta be you.  You will always have the will to choose.
 
Me:  (PENSIVELY)  I guess you’re right.
 
God:  Thank you.  A lot of folks don’t feel that way.
 
Me:  (GETTING IT)  I guess it’s a matter of wanting to do it your way, but freely, of my own choice and desire, not submissively.  As I believe Saint Peter said, “Where will I go Lord?” when given the choice of leaving Jesus.
 
God: No need to quote the Bible to me, John.  Besides, you mangled it a bit.  But I see that you do see.  Oh, and our friend Peter thinks pretty highly of you, too.  He loves it when you tell those screw-up stories about him. 
 
Me:  He’s my inspiration, because of all  his mistakes.  So, back on topic. ( PAUSE)  Lord, I choose to serve you, to do it your way.  As for other stuff, my heart’s desire?  (PAUSE)  Maybe that is it … for now.  In the meantime, I’ll just put it all in your hands. The record shows that you’re much better at choosing than I am.  So, I’m trusting you here, you hear? 
 
God:  I hear.  I will not abandon you. 
 
Me:  (SLOWLY)  I know.  Thanks, Lord.  Amen.
 
God:  You’re welcome.  Nice day for a walk.  Go and enjoy it.  Nice chatting with you.   
 
* * *
“In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He shall direct your paths.”
        –    Proverbs 3:6