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TUESDAY THOUGHT 1/29/13

WHAT ABOUT …?

What about God?  That was my question as an honest, youthful seeker.  I used every experience as a litmus test of proof (or not) of a God.  That was step one.  After all, there had to be a God before I could believe in Him.

What about me?  That was my question as I began to believe in God, but saw Him as a bigger-than-life candy vending machine.  Make my life good, Lord.  Give me my heart’s desire … now.  Me.  Me.  Me.

What about you?  This is my question these days, as I wonder what God wants of me, going from wanting to accept God’s will to wanting to seek God’s will to wanting to embrace God’s will to wanting to do God’s will.

My point?  I haven’t a clue, except that I have found that this faith journey is quite an adventure, full of thrills and spills, fun and pain, sunny days and cloudy ones.  And I keep coming back to two words that almost haunt me:  Just trust. — jri

I joined the Methodist Church last Sunday.  Actually, I didn’t so much join anything as I simply said yes to a spiritual invitation that, though never spoken, has grown louder and louder in the last few months, beyond ignoring.  So, I became part of a vibrant, loving family of men and women who believe, and who wear their faith openly.  (And, no, they don’t walk around with sappy smiles on their faces and hands steeple-folded, though they do sing and clap a lot.)  A bit of a nomad, I used to joke that home is where you hang your hat.  Now I know it is where you hang your heart.  Nice.

THURSDAY THOUGHT 1/24/13

THE GOLD STANDARD

I have never worshiped gold and wealth.  However, like many people, I got awfully distracted by it.  While pretending not to care, I grew very fond of the houses, the boats, the supposed “financial security” of money in the bank, and of the imagined prestige it all brought.  Somehow, it all made me think I was smart and good.

Worst of all, I spent more time devoted to growing and tending to my wealth than I did to people, though I told myself I was sacrificing and laboring ferociously for the benefit of those I loved.  (That was bull!  They’d probably have loved me twice as much with half the wealth.)

My point:  While money in and of itself is not evil (it’s the love of money that gets us in trouble), gold is cold.  It will never love us.  Jesus did not say, “Make a fortune,” but, “Love your neighbor.”  We only have a few short years on this earth.  I have come to believe that we should use them not just wisely, but lovingly.  So, we should love God and serve people. – jri

I am no longer borderline wealthy, at least with material goods.  No, as I have said often, these days I have “enough.“  I have lost the heart to devote myself to acquisition.  Yes, there are times when I worry about money, especially in these economically challenging times.  My true wealth, however, comes from being blessed as a member of a Christ-following community of loving men and women, and from being able to help others in my very small way as we all travel the journey of our short lives.  Most of all, I have the gift of faith, wobbly and weak as it may be, but a joyous blessing in and of itself.  So, I guess you could say that I’m wealthy beyond compare.

WEDNESDAY THOUGHT 1/23/13

LIGHT

Susan and I, brought back together after 42 years apart, sometimes marvel at that miracle and how God made us ready (though it took Him four decades to get me sort of right).  Looking back, we realize that, back in our youth, we lived in darkness.  No, we were far from evil (personally, I think we were downright delightful), but we were not children of God.  Church?  Let’s see, we showed up for a wedding or two, and that was about it.  Acknowledging God?  The only times we would have mentioned God’s name were after someone sneezed or a hammer hit a thumb.  The Bible?  A bit dusty, it sat on my parents’ coffee table.

Somehow, God found us and we found our way to God and back to each other.  In 2012, after 42 years, Susan and I re-met as people of faith.  At first, in the evenings, on the phone a thousand miles apart (I in Wisconsin, she in Georgia) we would pray and read together … a first for both of us.  These days, we devote the first half hour or so of each day to reading the Bible and a devotional, giving thanks, offering up our day, and praying for a growing list of those in need.  We support and strengthen each other.  Nice.

My point:  I have come to believe that, for most of us, our faith journeys can be long, sometimes very, very long.  However, God has a plan for us.  If we let Him, even if it takes 42 years or longer, He will bring us out of the darkness and into His loving, fulfilling light.  It’s a sure thing.  – jri

God and I still wrestle about theology now and then, and I am a notorious whiner when things do not go my way.  However, I have come to a wondrous realization over the years:  I like God.  And though I find the Father, Abba, a bit forbidding and foreboding at times, I really like the company of Jesus, the Son.  I am proud (in a humble, Christian way, of course) to say that Jesus is my Friend, my Brother, my Savior, and my Lord.  I guess that’s what people mean about the idea of having a “personal relationship” with Jesus.  Whatever it’s called, it is wondrous!

THURSDAY THOUGHT 1/17/13

VENGEANCE VS. JUSTICE

Yesterday, I sat in a courtroom and watched in horror and astonishment as a good acquaintance was handcuffed and put in jail.  Unemployed, broke, unable to afford an attorney, and on the verge of homelessness, he was ridiculed by the judge and ordered arrested for failing to pay child support.  As I sat in the courtroom, there for moral support for a man I knew as a loving, gentle father to his children and member of the church, I had to fight the desire to pray for a bolt of lightning to strike his ex-wife and/or the judge.

I finally managed to shift mental/spiritual gears and pray for justice rather than vengeance.  I asked God that this man’s torturous journey through hell be ended, or at least that he continue to receive the strength to carry on without falling into despair, or seeking to destroy himself or someone else.  (So far, he has maintained a solid, almost stolid, attitude.)  I am even trying to pray that the Lord soften the vengeful heart of his ex-wife.

My point:  No matter what, everyone is a child of God, yes, even the nastiest among us.  Jesus said we should love our enemies and those who do wrong.  I suspect He meant it not just when convenient, but especially when our hearts were threatening to fill with hate.  So, I guess our role is to pray for justice and leave vengeance in God’s hands.  Though it’s not easy (and I confess that I would secretly smile at some lightning-strike vengeance), it’s really not our business.  It is God’s.   – jri

Upon learning of this man’s arrest, one member of a men’s group in the church prayed that a big, hairy, scary angel would watch over our friend in jail, which can be a dangerous, hostile place.  I kind of liked that.  After all, angels are not really these snowy white, sweet little fluttery things.  The Archangel Michael, for example is a sword-bearing warrior.  Yes!  (Oops, sorry.)

John Ingrisano

4279 Hunter Road

Gainesville, GA 30506

www.dailyconnections.net

January 17, 2013

WEDNESDAY THOUGHT 1/16/13

GOD’S WAY

This is a rambler, but here goes:  I confess that I like to be in control.  Even when Susan and I do a Sudoku or crossword puzzle, I want to/need to/must hold the pen.  In the past, my willful desire to control every detail helped me build a mini-empire:  Money in the bank, cars, homes, status, etc., etc., etc.  That willful desire for control also cost me everything in the end … which laid the groundwork for something vastly better.

I discovered that what I was able to accomplish by sheer power of my will was not enough; it was never enough.  There was always an ache, a something missing, a small (and growing) hole in my soul.  It was only after I lost everything and surrendered my will to the power of God — to God’s will – that I found peace, joy, and even freedom.  (Imagine that: freedom through surrender.  Now, that’s a head scratcher, eh?  Hmmmm.)

My point:  A bit vague and disconnected perhaps, but I think it is that no matter what we accomplish, no matter how much money we make, no matter how successful or powerful we become, none of it has any value or meaning without God.  On the flip side, by doing absolutely nothing except saying, “Here I am, Lord,” God will give us everything – I repeat: everything – we need.  Awesome.

For me, my biggest problem with the whole surrender part is that, in the words of C.S. Lewis, ”We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”  We tend to jump to the conclusion that (A) if we believe in God, who loves us, then (B) our lives will be sweet and easy.  Unfortunately (or fortunately), that’s not how it works.  Life is a bear: sickness, death, relationship setbacks, money woes, bad hair days.  That’s the reality.  God’s not here to serve up a luxury cruise on smooth waters; He’s here to help us get through the rough seas. Still, enjoy the trip, including those stormy seas.

John Ingrisano

4279 Hunter Road

Gainesville, GA 30506

www.dailyconnections.net

January 16, 2013

TUESDAY THOUGHT 1/8/13

GOODNESS

When I was young, I was tough — rash, brash, hard, and arrogant.  I was full of myself.  My own dear cousin reminds me from time to time with a laugh that I was known as Johnny the Terror.  I had a swagger and an attitude.  Looking back today, I wonder who I was trying to convince.  In truth, I had no sense of my own goodness, of my own worth.  It was all a bluff, self-manufactured.

The truth came out in a phrase years later:  “You’re a good person.”  The first time I heard it, I was surprised to discover how uncomfortable that simple, pure statement made me feel.  I was not alone.  When I shared it with others about themselves – “You are a good person” — they too would squirm.  No, I was not alone.  It seems to me today that few people truly believe in their own goodness.  They find it almost impossible to look themselves in the eye in the mirror and say, “I’m a good person.”  (Try it and see how it makes you feel.)

My point:  We are good.  I know we are.  We are made in God’s image.  There is goodness in us, but it does not come from our will, our attitude, our success or our achievements.  It does not come from how hard we try.  It comes from God, and all we have to do is stop trying to prove our goodness and just accept it from Him.  He makes us good.  – jri

For me, it is the greatest feeling in the world:  to wake in the morning with a sigh and a “Thank You, God,” on my lips, knowing that any and all of my foolishness from the distant past (as well as from yesterday) is gone, wiped away, forgiven.  I am accepted and loved … just as I am.  Again, I am not alone.  Just trust and accept.  Awesome.  Thank you, Lord.

John Ingrisano

4279 Hunter Road

Gainesville, GA 30506

www.dailyconnections.net

January 8, 2013

FRIDAY THOUGHT 1/4/13

LEARNING TO BREATHE

Every morning, Susan and I offer up three types of prayers to God:  First, thanksgiving for all our blessings; second, prayers for the health and well-being (spiritual and physical) of others; third, petitions for our own needs.  It’s this last one – petitions regarding personal needs, cares and concerns —  that gets me into trouble.  I tend sometimes to pray with an edge and attitude of specific expectation, almost daring God in these “gimme” requests.

So, for me, the reminder to “Be still and wait upon the Lord” ends up meaning that I hold my breath for as long as I can wait for God to do “it” my way … or until my spiritual face turns blue.  No wonder I get discouraged now and then.

My point:  Breathe!  No matter how much we pester God, He WILL answer our prayers, but He almost certainly (at least in my experience) will NOT do it our way.  So, just ask, let it go, take in a deep, spiritual breath, and just trust … innocently and openly.  – jri

Why do we worry?  Maybe it is because we fear that the future will be tough.  Well, it will be.  That’s a fact.  Now in my sixty-third year (though I still look in the mirror and am surprised not to see that 20-year-old, spring-step boy), I sometimes puzzle over the fact that my skills and powers are no longer on the ascent, but are declining … like it or not, inevitably.  When younger, I used to conquer life through sheer will and skill.  Now I know that, someday, I will be no longer.  That realization does not bother me all that much, really.  Again, it’s a fact.  Instead, I have grown to cherish each day, each blessing, and, yes, even each setback, with acceptance and, sometimes, even joy.  Life is a blessing.  Every day is a gift.  Every struggle has a purpose.  Bless God in all we do … as He blesses us.  Amen.

John Ingrisano

4279 Hunter Road

Gainesville, GA 30506

www.dailyconnections.net

January 4, 2013

WEDNESDAY THOUGHT 1/2/13

FAITH ROAD

Abram, the father of the Jews, got the word.  When God told him to pack up and head out to a new and unspecified land, he did.  No argument.  No MapQuest.  No Triple-A road map.  Destination unknown.  He went.

I know a handful of people like Abram:  some dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses; others barely able to stand after crawling out of the debris of ruined lives; still others alone, sick, financially devastated, all seemingly abandoned.  Like Abram, however, they travel their new roads in faith.  Oh, I am sure there are times when they curse their fate, weep with despair, would love to lie down, pound fists in the sand, and give up.  But somehow (that’s a God how), they travel on in dim hope and the whisper of faith.

My point:  Even if we do not know the way, God does.  If we trust in God, we must trust that He is leading us down a road that, even if it makes no sense to us at this time, is in fact the best, right and perfect route for us.  Cry a little.  Complain a little.  Then trust a lot.  God does know what He is doing … always.  – jri

I can only imagine how Abram felt as he uprooted himself and the lives of his family members and headed out across a wasteland to God knows where.  Similarly, I can only imagine how Joseph, the stepfather of Jesus, must have felt when an angel told him (A) your fiancée is pregnant; (B) it’s a God thing, so it’s okay; and then later, after the birth of Jesus (C) pack up and move down to Egypt for a while.  Finally, imagine all those men and women of faith (and I guess that includes you and me) who, every day, trust in the things we cannot see and believe things that are so improbable and non-logical (though not illogical) by the world’s standards.  It’s a faith journey.  Don’t try to figure it out.  Just enjoy the trip.  God bless.

John Ingrisano

4279 Hunter Road

Gainesville, GA 30506

www.dailyconnections.net

January 2, 2013